Catholic Inklings

Musings and sharings on my devotion to an ancient religion.

Posts by jschlameussperry

Manly Men

Our culture is in somewhat of a crisis these days regarding our concept of what makes a man. And, I’m not talking about who can use which bathroom, or what an individual “identifies” as, but about what makes a man truly manly.

There was a campaign on Facebook a few years ago called “Real Men Don’t Buy Girls.” There are memes of celebrities (a lot of them men) making statements about treating women with dignity.  There is a real, felt push-back against  the way women are objectified—in the media, our president, in the horrors of human trafficking and prostitution, and in everyday lives like our own. Now, I will own that some of the progress the world has made in seeing women as human beings with intelligence, ability, dignity, grace and value are continually undermined by women offering themselves as objects for ogling and devaluing.  But, still…it’s 2017 and the world apparently needs celebrities to us that we shouldn’t purchase other human beings.

Today is the Feast of St. Joseph. After reading today’s Gospel, I’m having a serious case of respect for this guy and his response to God’s call to protect the dignity of his bride and the safety of her son—not his son—hers.    When he found out that the girl he was set to marry was already pregnant, and he knew it wasn’t his kid, he had every right to expose her to shame and even to the possibility of stoning.  He could have ruined or even taken her life and the life of her child.  But, he didn’t.  He trusted that what he was told to him in a dream was true—that this was God’s doing and that he had been chosen to protect and care for these two.  And he said “Yes.”

Who does that?  People go on “reality” TV shows and publicly humiliate and destroy those that they claim to love and yet have no confidence in their ability to be faithful to them.  It’s a freak show out there.  And, while there was no TV in Jesus’ time, Joseph could have done the equivalent.  But, he didn’t.

The model Joseph gives to men of gentleness, faithfulness, trust and responsibility is as much needed now as it was back then.  He loved and honored Mary and Jesus.  He worked hard to support her and Jesus as best he could (which did not bring them gobs of money or any real material comfort, but he didn’t just sit on his butt and do nothing because the pay scale was beneath him).  And the sacrifices that he made for his family echoed out in our Salvation, as well as continuing to be an example for us today.  Joseph should be held up by men and women alike: men for a model of how to live respect and uphold the dignity of others (specifically women and children) and women for how they should expect to be treated (not forgetting, of course, that we have our own model in Mary of devotion, gentleness, personal dignity and great love). You can have all the muscles, good looks and stuff in the world–and those things are not bad–but to be honorable, respectful, kind and dignified; that’s truly manly.

I’m just saying…if we looked to Joseph (as an average, run of the mill dude) for how to treat one another, maybe we wouldn’t need celebrities to tell us not to buy girls.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

When I was a kid, starting on approximately the day after Christmas, my Dad would begin a daily countdown to Lent.  He would get a bit excited. I always thought he did it to torture us.  Why did we need to be thinking about it so long?  Why the heck would he be so happy about it—Lent was miserable!  Plus, you know we weren’t picking what we were going to give up until Ash Wednesday morning and then would try to change it later that day when it got too hard.

When I was in high school, our Diocese used to provide what was one of the most formative Church experiences throughout my whole, entire life—Service to the Suffering.  Hundreds of high school kids would converge on the campus of St. Gabriel Parish throughout the Triduum (Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Holy Saturday).  We would gather for prayer in the morning and then be sent out to do charitable work—we’d go to Marlboro Institution to care for the buildings and grounds (every kid who went there has AMAZING stories), inner city Trenton to clean up back allies, a CYO camp to clean up, nursing homes to visit, and all kinds of other good work.  After the work, we’d return to the gym and observe the Triduum liturgies as a community of young people.  Liturgically correct?  No.  But, man if it didn’t mean something.  It made an indelible mark on the hundreds of kids (some of them non-Catholics and some exchange students that we brought with us) who were present.  We encountered Christ broken for our hurting world, and then encountered Christ made whole in the celebration of the Liturgy.  It was powerful.

Even with my dad’s excitement about it, my experience of Service to the Suffering, nine years of Catholic elementary school, and six more years of Catholic higher education, it wasn’t until I was working with the RCIA (the adults who are in formation to become Catholic) that I really “got it.”  I got why Dad was always looking forward to Lent (it wasn’t as sinister as I thought as a kid).

Lent is a forty day period originally designed to prepare those who would be baptized to train their ears to Christ’s voice, to echo it forward, and to allow Christ to root out of them whatever wasn’t worthy of a New Creation in Baptism. Forty is the allotted time for testing and preparation in the Bible–Noah’s Ark, Moses’s time before God called him, the people of Israel in the desert, Jesus in the desert… God really likes the desert apparently–probably because there are no distractions out there.

All Catholics renew our baptismal vows at Easter Mass, so Lent is preparation for us, too.  We’re called into the “desert” to confront temptation, acknowledge the things that tempt us for what they truly are, and discern what it is that we really want. It’s a chance to walk through our hearts with Christ; to see what distracts us from actual happiness and let it be crucified on the Cross and drowned in the waters of Baptism so that we can rise with Christ, renewed. At the end of the forty days, we are ready for something big–to live differently and boldly after allowing God to refine us.


My boss and I begin singing, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year…” as Ash Wednesday approaches. The prayers, Scripture readings at Mass, and liturgies throughout Lent and the Triduum teach us more about who we are as a church than any other time of the year. They expose the heart of why Jesus came to earth, why we need God, and what our lives can be when we partner with God. If we allow it, Lent can be life-changing.

Fast, pray and give.  Make a point to see suffering around you and do something about it.  Make a point to spend a lot of quiet time with Christ—and listen.  Give up something that you will miss and unite your discomfort with the people in our world who never have what you gave up for only forty days. Participate in the offerings of your parish; try Stations of the Cross, go to Bible Study, volunteer to help the poor, go to Confession, go to your diocese’s Chrism Mass and to your Triduum celebration. And pray for and welcome the Catechumens and Candidates who will become united with us in the Sacraments at the Vigil. Then, go ahead and try to tell me that it’s not the most wonderful time of the year. 😉


Batman is a loner. He’s the Dark Knight, moving through the shadows and being a vigilante all over the place. Even when the Justice League was formed (partly by his design), he didn’t want to be tied down by the responsibility of belonging. The LEGO Batman Movie is a hilarious and exciting exploration of Batman’s desire for solitude and his need for companionship.

(Read article on Geekdom House)

Love Your Enemies | Breaking Open the Word at Home

Nobody’s perfect. That’s a truth that the whole world agrees with…except for Jesus. Jesus actually instructed us to be perfect as if he totally expected us to just go ahead and do it. It’s not really a stretch, either, because we are all temples of the Holy Spirit–it’s built right into us. And, because God is so good, God gives us easy instructions to follow to make us perfect.

Click here for a short reflection on this weekend’s Scriptures with discussion questions for the whole family.